Author | Joseph L. Selby

Fear and Cold Water

I made a mistake today. I posted a list of agents who actively participate in social media that I would like to work with. There was discussion on the list and whether it was appropriate. Checking my email quickly while I was at work, I found the discussion continued by an agent whose opinion I value. I disagreed with the opinion, was in fact hurt and offended by part of it, but nonetheless I deleted my post. She said that such a post would inhibit my potential to find an agent. It may. I’m okay with it now. In my hurt and in my shock, I deleted it. I questioned everything I had been working toward and the community I was attempting to become a part of.

In a way, her post was a good thing. It was a splash of cold water to wake me up from the dream that is the internet. A digital play has formed that mimics real life: friendships, relationships, knowledge more intimate than strangers have of one another but less than true friends do. It’s easy to forget through daily blog postings and 15-minute Twitter updates that you don’t know any of these people, and they don’t know you. They are not your friends and are not attempting to be so. It is a business. It is all business. We all know this, but it’s so easy to forget when people are talking about books you’ve read or trips to Starbucks or reading on the Subway, things you do. It’s even harder on media such as Twitter where you can watch whole conversations unfold if you’re following all the participants.

I was not prepared for that illusion to be shattered so coarsely, especially not by someone I respected. I panicked. I deleted the post. And was depressed about it all for the entire day until I just sat down at my computer and typed out a response to the comment that was repeated as a blog post. I do not know if that comment will ever be posted. The absurdity of it all is that my list of six agents (because I included but Kristin and Sara at Nelson Literary Agency) was taken from a total list of 11 agents. Of those that specifically ask for fantasy and actively keep a blog/LJ/Twitter account, there are a whopping 11 people.

If you are an aspiring writer, you should have a list. It’s up to you whether you post it, but you should have a list. You should research agents and find those whose vision, goals, and personality are a good compliment to your own.

Frankly, I don’t think I’d like to work with an agent upset at not being on my list. If I am not included on a list, I look at those that were and see what they do that I do not that earned them their place on the list. It’s an opportunity for improvement. Anyone who takes offense rather than saying thank you is not someone I would work well with.

Post Script: It was also said my original post was condescending. It was not intended to be so, and I apologized to those agents that took offense.

Joseph L. Selby

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11 responses to “Fear and Cold Water”

  1. Elizabeth Poole Avatar
    Elizabeth Poole

    Sorry about the drama. That's really unfortunate.

    Reply
  2. Suzi McGowen Avatar
    Suzi McGowen

    I was curious about that deleted post, so I pulled up a copy of it via Google cache. I didn't think it was condescending, per se. (You did mention "young" a lot, which could be insulting to both the agents you listed as young, and those you didn't.)

    But years ago I read a post from an agent. She got a query that she was excited about. She googled the author and found her website and discovered that she was a "round b" or "round c" agent. And it stung. But she got over it (because she's a professional) and asked for a full. And the writer asked for more time to make revisions. And that became "two strikes because you're not professional".

    I never did find out how that ended. Was there a third strike? Did it end there?

    Reply
  3. Joseph L. Selby Avatar
    Joseph L. Selby

    Thanks for your comment, Suzi! Well played with the Google cache. I don't expect many people know how t use that properly. 🙂 Maybe I can go back and salvage my post and put it up on LJ in a protected post.

    I think a person really comes out in comments sections. That's where you can tell if they're going to be trouble. You get that first measured response and then the follow-up comments build and build until the whole thing explodes in a shower of self-destructive fire. I had an agent request a full and found a forum discussion he was a part of. By the time I got to the end of the thread, I chose not to send him my work and scratched him off my query list. I probably should have caught it before hand, but his personal website was so intriguing that I queried right away.

    If an agent is willing to write an author off for one strike, they're playing a different game. I'm not saying I want to cause trouble, but I want to work with someone who doesn't sweat the small stuff.

    As for young, I think it's a genuine concern and is a testament to the quality of both agents that I still wanted (and still do want) to work with them. I know what I was like in the twenties. You want to make sure the person you're going to work with isn't like that. Good lord!

    And really, I brought it up because there was an agent I queried recently that was pushing seventy. Sure seventy is the new sixty, but I had strong reservations about querying. I turn 33 next week. I'm going to be writing two novels a year for the next twenty years. How many years will the seventy-year-old be around to rep my work? A high-quality agent like Jo Volpe or Suzi Townsend is a great opportunity and citing their youth was a positive not a negative (A, because they're squared away and B, because how great would it be to work with the same wonderful agent for 20+ years).

    It's the internet and there are misunderstandings on the internet. Yesterday was a hard day. Today will be better (though I think I only managed 700 words on the way into work this morning, which is below my target of 1000 words per train ride).

    Thank you for your comment, Suzi. I hope to hear from you again in the future.

    Reply
  4. Marjorie Avatar
    Marjorie

    It makes me sad that you felt intimidated and deleted your post. I feel you were manipulated and allowed yourself to be controlled.

    "She said that such a post would inhibit my potential to find an agent. It may."

    Do you honestly think that if you did not list an agent on the internet as one of your "dream agents" and he was later interested in your work he would decline to represent you based on that stupidity?

    I will NEVER allow myself to be gagged because of the ramifications. It will be a cold day in hell when I allow that. I wouldn't want representation from an agent who even cared about who I listed or allowed her own feelings to be hurt because she wasn't listed by me and that was even a factor in consideration for representation.

    I am sure I will never get representation and I am sure I am totally blacklisted because of how outspoken I am on the internet. Shrug.

    I never heard of anything so asinine. I won't be controlled by anybody's insecurities or need to be on a silly "who's popular list." For once, my fingers are paralyzed.

    Reply
  5. Marjorie Avatar
    Marjorie

    The above two deleted due to typos… too many screens up.

    You know what, Joseph? You do not have to apologize for anything. You did nothing wrong. It's control and manipulation trying to influence you because of how it personally impacts.

    Wouldn't you want an agent confident and secure enough to not care what opinions you posted on the internet? Representation should be just about your work… not all these other side issues.

    This is a misuse of power run amok.

    Reply
  6. Joseph L. Selby Avatar
    Joseph L. Selby

    I'm really not sweating it. I was upset. Now I'm not. I disagree with Janet and that's fine. We're both adults and allowed to have differing opinions. She still offers two blogs to help aspiring authors achieve their goals and raised over $4000 for flood victims in Nashville. She has earned continues to have my respect.

    Reply
  7. Eileen Avatar
    Eileen

    Ah the joys of blogging. I no more believe an agent should be upset that they weren't on a "dream agent" list than my husband should be to find out that prior to marrying him George Clooney was on my dream husband list.

    Dreams are one thing, reality another. I have huge respect for Janet and her work, but this is one issue I disagree on.

    Reply
  8. Marjorie Avatar
    Marjorie

    "It was not intended to be so, and I apologized to those agents that took offense.'

    I am going to write my own dream list and post it at my own blog.

    Reply
  9. Marjorie Avatar
    Marjorie

    It's up…. go have a look.

    Reply
  10. Livia Avatar
    Livia

    I'm sorry you were caught up in such a messy situation, Joseph. The internet is great for many things, striking up quick connections, meeting new people, but the dark side of that is that things can get real negative real quick, and people send messages back and forth that they wouldn't say if they actually had to look someone in the eyes to do it. At least it only ruined one day, and it looks like you've gotten over it well. And now it's back to writing. 🙂

    Reply
  11. Daryl Sedore Avatar
    Daryl Sedore

    Joseph,

    Sorry dude, not only do I disagree with Janet, completely and absolutely, I also disagree that you removed your post.

    Freedom of speech. Janet has every right to her opinion as you do too. As I also do and here it is: if an agent cried that much about not being on a list, be happy that that agent IS not on your list. Wouldn't want to work with her…ever.

    I understand that she has done wonderful things in the past like raise money and so on. But that does not negate a bad work ethic.

    That's like saying my car is beautiful and works like a fine-tuned machine. I love my car, but why did it break down today? It gave me many years of dedicated service, but today it sucks. So what, now it doesn't suck because of all the good it did. No, it still sucks.

    Reply

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