Author | Joseph L. Selby

The Hard Part

I got a pass on WANTED: CHOSEN ONE, NOW HIRING today. This particular agent has looked at BLACK MAGIC AND BARBECUE SAUCE as well and is very good about giving feedback with rejections. What struck me today is that his comment was very similar to a comment Elizabeth Poole gave me when she beta-read the story.

Bastin is a more likable character than Nashau or Podome. This isn’t disputed, trust me. Bastin is your classic high charisma, high energy flimflam man you find in many fantasy novels. That was one of the reasons he wasn’t the main character. I’ve seen him before. Or at least, I’ve seen other characters with that attitude (Bastin keeps himself out of the cliche gutter, I think). And regardless, it wasn’t his story I wanted to tell. It was Nashau’s. It is a story about unemployment in a fantasy setting. I saw the story I wanted to tell and I told it.

But here is the feedback, this story would be better with Bastin as the main character. A story may be better with Bastin as the main character, but that story wouldn’t be this story. And there’s the hard part.

Completing a novel is difficult. Revising that novel is challenging. But rewriting the novel? That’s flipping hard.

Revising makes a story better. It fixes flaws, improves weak structure to make it stronger. It’s an essential element of professional writing. Rewriting is taking the fundamental aspects of a story: it’s plot or theme or characters or setting, and telling a whole different tale.

Now, the agent did not say “If you rewrite this with Bastin as the main character, I will represent you” which saved me a lot of hand-wringing. But the implicit statement of “I’ll look at this again” was (I think) there.

Since I received that email, I have pondered and pondered and pondered whether or not I could tell WANTED: CHOSEN ONE, NOW HIRING with Bastin as the sole main character rather than 1 of 4 (with Nashau being the primary main character of the group with Jara being second). The first half is easy. There’s a lot of stuff early on with Nashau and Podome that could be cut. If they’re not main characters, those chapters are unnecessary. But that leaves me with stuff later…well, those chapters balance because of the foundation I built with those early chapters. I don’t think I can revise my way to a Bastin-centric story. I’m too attached to the story I told and still believe it is better the way it is.

What happens when this happens later? What happens when it’s an editor and I’m contractually obligated to deliver and they say something like this? I’m terrified. I’ve always known it’s a possibility, but was able to ignore it because I’m still looking for an agent. It’s hard to stifle that gut reaction of, “No, it’s better this way” just because that’s the way you told it. Really, rewriting is asking for a different story than the one you’ve told but with the same stuff included. Ugh! That’s so hard!

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7 responses to “The Hard Part”

  1. Ted Cross

    It is frustrating to me that agents look at my book and feel I introduce too many characters (ignoring the fact that writers like George R.R. Martin use far more and have huge hits) and could cut them down. They don't understand that each character plays a crucial role in the story, yet they aren't reading deeply enough to find that out.

    Funny that they want to push your book to be more cliche rather than less.

    Reply
  2. Joseph L. Selby

    I don't think I was being told to make it cliche. It may be a genuinely better story that way. Certainly it would be more salable, and that's a concern (which is totally appropriate).

    Liz told me something similar during her original review, and I had reasons for leaving it the way I did. I don't think she was trying to make the story more cliche.

    Reply
  3. Elizabeth Poole

    Tough spot, Joe. Tough spot indeed.

    I think it's a matter of what is important to you. If an editor wants you to change something about a book, first you should take some time to think about it, because every one's first reaction is, "No! It's perfect!" (at least, that's MY first reaction. :D)

    You have clearly given the matter some honest, unbiased thought. You still feel like changing the character focus would make it a different story, so this, if you were under contract, would be "a hill to die upon" as Holly Lisle puts it. If I were in your position, under contract or not, I would stand by my story.

    At the end of the day, you have to feel good about your books, regardless of what editors say (or beta readers say. I agree that changing the main character focus would change the book. It’s logical that you would decide that you didn’t want to refocus the book in that way). I would think if you were under contract, you would be able to ask the editor questions regarding why they are suggesting such major changes, and maybe find out the reasons why they like Bastin as an MC better. Maybe you would be able to work with Nashau a little bit, and compromise without changing your vision. At that stage, you would have a good agent and editor to work with.

    I just pulled my original notes on WANTED (so glad I saved those now). I did mention making Bastin a narrator of the events, but since this is Nashau’s story to you, it makes sense to have not gone with that idea.

    I’ve mulled your post over, with my own thoughts and recollections of WANTED, and I think I have some semblance of an answer. I think it feels more like Bastin’s book because that’s where most of the focus is. It’s not just that Bastin is more charismatic, therefore more “likable”. I rather liked the dynamic that the “hero” isn’t the main dude here, almost like Nashau is playing Watson to Bastin’s Holmes.

    You said it’s about unemployment, the prophets trying to get their jobs back, but for the middle to last part of the book, it felt more like Bastin was the driving force behind things, flim flaming his way around events and coming up with schemes. And at the end, he’s the one that acted, while Nashua and Podome waited for things to happen. It’s not that the prophets don’t do anything, but after Bastin and Jara are introduced, it feels like they are the main driving force behind the quest, not Nashau. It was only at the very end, during the epilogue between Nashau and Jara, that I felt like the focus came to center back on Nashau and his feelings on what happened.

    You’re absolutely right. If you were to refocus this book, it wouldn’t be about Nashau trying to get his job back. It would be about Bastin the bold taking on the flim flam of his life. If Nashau’s story is the one you want to tell, then you should keep the focus on Nashau.

    Maybe you shouldn’t try to tell the story as Bastin then, but figure out how to make Nashau more important. Figure out how to go through the middle and end of the book and refocus anything that isn’t showing him as a crucial part of the story. Make Nashau the linchpin that is holding the whole thing together. He’s the one with the prophecy, he’s the one who figured it all out, and fetched up Podome. See if you can give him more importance than he already has. He could be the long suffering, hard working guy at the bar table while Bastin’s off goofing around like a younger brother.

    Wow. I wasn’t trying to give you another critique, just offer up some thoughts. 😀 Sorry if I went overboard. I would just love to see WANTED published. Take that fantasy clichés!

    In other notes, have you signed up for that webinar? Have you done a webinar before? I haven’t, and have no idea what to expect. Can we type on the keyboard or do we have to speak into the microphone or telephone?

    Reply
  4. Jeffrey Beesler

    In my eyes the strongest advocate for any given story is the author. The beautiful thing about feedback is that you get to choose what to take from it and what doesn't work for you, and go from there.

    Eventually you'll get that yes, and if you're getting feedback as opposed to just flat out form rejection letters, that's a very good sign indeed.

    Reply
  5. Nate Wilson

    I don't know the full story like Elizabeth does (or at all, for that matter), but like her, my mind went to Watson-Holmes. (Actually, it went to Nick Carraway-Jay Gatsby first, but that's besides the point.) However, whereas she suggests having Nashau be the Watson to Bastin's Holmes, how about the other way around?

    Would the novel work with Bastin narrating Nashau's story? That way you could use the (potentially) better MC, but still get to tell the story you want to tell. Don't know what that might do to your tale, but it might be worth a shot.

    Just a thought.

    Reply
  6. Joseph L. Selby

    Liz, you can never go overboard. I value all the feedback you offer. There are some weaknesses to the story due to where I am as a writer, but I still love that story. I love it a lot. And since it wasn't a contractually obligated request for revision, I have no qualms leaving it the way it is. I was just pondering whether I could. As a professional, I can hope never to be put in that situation, but I probably will. And lord will that be hard.

    Jeffrey, Nate, thank you for your comments as well. If either of you need a beta reader, start sucking up to Liz now. She's ridiculously good. 🙂

    Reply
  7. Elizabeth Poole

    Awww thank you! I understand wanting to leave the book as is, considering it's awesome.

    Awwww, I understand. I actually worry about the same thing myself, from the horror stories I've read about from published writers. You know, what also bothers me (not that you need extra things to worry about 😉 ) is after you have a contract, you write books based on a proposal. What if i propose a book, and then while I am writing it, it changes? And the editor doesn't like it?

    I guess I will cross that bridge when I get there. In the meantime, I think it's good to prepare for things things now.

    Reply

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